Dare to be YOU
“When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be.”
A few years ago, I sat at my computer with my finger
hovering twitching over the mouse. I didn’t know if I really had it in me to click on that very first blog post”publish” button.
Publish – that meant publicly – for the whole world to see, right? Who was I to publish? Who was I to think that I even had to worry about people reading what that publish button was going send flying into Google’s spidery web of algorithms.
After my grandmother died, much of my childhood was spent perfecting my invisibility. If I was invisible, no one would see where I lived. If I was invisible, no one would know that I never wore the “right” clothes. If I was invisible, no one would see me trip over my own feet as I carried my violin while all the “cool kids” were off to band, sports or cheer-leading practice. If I was invisible, no one would see the longing in my eyes to be “normal”. If I was invisible, no one would judge me by the way I looked.
What made my finger slam that publish button into visibility and dare the world to find me?
Invisibility serves no one. It didn’t serve me then, and it won’t serve any of us now. As a child, invisibility was my coping mechanism. As a teen, invisibility was my defiance and my protector.
As a young adult – invisibility was my downfall. Invisibility not only made me unseen, it made me unheard. I was no longer a master of my invisibility, it was now a master of me. I had become so invisible, even I could no longer see myself. It was this realization that frightened me. As a young adult, I now had the freedom to make decisions to change life as it was, yet I was still hiding. Still invisible. That frightened me to a whole new level. So much so, that I packed two bags, and bought a one-way ticket to San Diego. I had no job, no place to live and not enough money to carry me far. I knew I had to start the process of uncloaking myself.
My journey to pushing that “publish” button was a series of small steps – sometimes one step forward followed by a header down a long and winding staircase. Through constant work, pushing through self-doubt, finding positive and supportive people to surround myself with, it happened. I stopped being afraid to be seen – and heard.
Not everyone will like what they see or hear, but I’m OK with that, just as you should always be OK with the true you. Not the you that other people think you should be – that YOU that was born to do something amazing. That YOU that’s dying to get out and share your gifts with the world. The world needs you and your passion. It needs you to be seen and heard.
I could very happily spend the rest of of my life sharing the mindset that helped me along the way. The absolute beauty is that it’s all within reach, no matter how hopeless or out of reach it feels at the time. Just one step towards your dream creates momentum that might just amaze you. I would love to hear what you’re working towards – or what you’re running away from.