“It’s so curious: one can resist tears and ‘behave’ very well in the hardest hours of grief. But then someone makes you a friendly sign behind a window, or one notices that a flower that was in bud only yesterday has suddenly blossomed, or a letter slips from a drawer… and everything collapses. ”  Colette

For over a week,  I’ve had a hole in my heart that felt as though it would  swallow me whole.  I lost a very dear friend and mentor to cancer. Unfortunately, I’ve lost countless loved ones and once again, I find myself, between moments of deep sorrow, and the numbness that prevents the loss from feeling real.

Just a short post to say farewell to a man who became the epitiome of living life. Because of his fame, he fought his battle with cancer in the public eye.  With grace and dignity, Patrick found a way to battle his disease while pursuing his dreams and passion to the very end. The most important gift Patrick gave us was the reminder to live life to the fullest each and every day.

Choreographer Kenny Ortega had this to say “Patrick loved life, and had such an enthusiasm for everything he did. If he could climb it, he climbed it. If he could write it, he wrote it. If he could dance it, well, we all know he did. He lived.”

I was so prepared to start 2009 on top of my game, my “stop making resolutions” musings were waiting for me to hit the post button, I was happy, rested and into the full swing of a new year.

On January 3rd, I received a call letting me know that my beloved mom-in-law passed away. I was originally going to say that she lost her three-year battle to leukemia but I think it’s far more accurate to say that she won her wish to live her life the way she intended to for as long as possible.