Mind Body Connection

Having tried yoga in the past, it was something I knew could completely quiet my mind. At times it’s hard for all of us to shut down and just “be” but it’s important to release the stresses of the day, listen to your body, and quiet your mind. Those tight shoulders and neck pain might be trying to tell you something (that you’re stressed and need to release it)….

There is a definite link between the mental, emotional, and physical side of you. Running usually works really well for me, it helps me release stress, stay fit, and enjoy the beauty of the outdoors. You need to find your “thing” and incorporate it into your routine. It’s always good to be open to exploring new ways to keep that mind-body connection in sync.

When running started to give me issues with my I.T. band and hip flexors, it was a sign that something was out of balance. Last year I started seeing a chiropractor and sports massage therapist which helped immensely. I’m currently training for a half-marathon and those issues are flaring again. It’s what pushed me past my hesitance to try something new. My body was telling me something was out of balance physically. I listened, and am looking forward to seeing if this will be a good fit – so far it seems like it is. I left feeling very healthy and centered in all respects.

Are you in fully in sync?

A few days ago I talked about the fear mindset and how it can really hold you back. The antidote to that of course is action. But once you get into action mode, the next step is perseverance. I’d like to introduce you to Naomi Dunford, someone I absolutely love. She’s genuine, swears like a sailor, and has been there – done that. Please take a minute to read one of her latest posts. What is it that you’re putting off?

Sometimes you just have to tell yourself to shut the FUD up – FUD,  meaning Fear, Uncertainty, and Doubt…

Fear can paralyze the most ambitious people and plans. In and of itself, fear isn’t a bad thing, it keeps us safe by alerting our senses to real danger – a bad vibe from a stranger, standing too close to the edge of a mountain (without a harness) etc.

HOWEVER, when the fear is based on all the “what-ifs” in your head that will probably never happen – and if they did happen, certainly wouldn’t kill you, it just keeps you stagnant. Fear of failure, fear of success, fear of looking or feeling silly. It’s your built in protection, but in these cases, it just doesn’t serve you… If you don’t address the fear, you can easily find yourself in a vicious cycle of self-sabotage.

Learning to move beyond it takes commitment

First – Don’t fight the fear. It only makes it worse. Acknowledge it and take away its power. Understand that you have a fear, and also that it’s only a thought in your head, a feeling in your body. What you are fearing has not happened. What you’re feeling is a chemical reaction in your brain. The perfect example is a scary movie or a motion ride. Your brain reacts as if the events were actually taking place. Your heart beats faster, you may break out in a sweat, your stomach tenses. That’s the power of 100 BILLION nerve cells at work.

Second – Reprogram your mind. If you find yourself feeling those fear symptoms as you’re contemplating something new like a career change, starting new business, relationship etc. immediately start thinking of something pleasant, a vacation, your favorite food, all the good things that would be a result of the change. Another option is to use a positive affirmation. That will help stop the current chemical reaction induced by fear and replace it with a different process the helps transition the brain out of fear mode. Make this a habit.

Third – Add action. Even if it’s miniscule, DO something. Take one step towards making your decision or trying something new and then do it. It may sound too  simple, but your thoughts have the most power over your life. Make sure you’re creating a mindset that serves you rather than one that leaves you parlyzed with fear. It’s a very empowering skill to master.

Yes, my age old theme – taking action. Doing the same old things will only get you the same old results.

A couple of days ago I found out that Greg Reid, one of my favorite authors was going to have a book signing today at a nearby bookstore. The timing was perfect and I put it on my calendar. For a variety of reasons, I only got about three hours of sleep last night, and had a pretty full day today. It would have been so easy to blow off the book signing and just go home and relax.

Looming in the back of my mind was John Assaraf’s voice asking me “Are you interested or committed?” If you’re interested, you’ll do things when it’s easy, if you’re committed, you’ll do them even when it’s inconvenient. Fine John, I’m still committed…

Best decision I could have made. Met a lot of great people at the signing. In addition to meeting Greg, I also had the opportunity to meet his mentor David M. Corbin, and Harry Paul, author of FISH. Many inspirational stories about persistance and taking action. It was a very timely reminder about surrounding yourself with like minded people – those who propel you forward rather than drag you down.

Greg Reid seated, David Corbin standing far left

A while back I spoke to Greg about the book I’m working on and he was gracious beyond belief in answering my questions and giving me tips in moving forward. I love meeting genuine people who are willing to help others.

I left the signing feeling revitalized, energized and ready to keep moving forward full steam ahead. If you need a little motivation please check out Greg Reid’s Three Feet from Gold: Turn Your Obstacles into Opportunities! (Think and Grow Rich)
and David M Corbin’s Illuminate: Harnessing the Positive Power of Negative Thinking – You’ll be glad you did.

Do it—Go take action!!

I know, I’m still lagging in posting but working my way back. It’s been quite a year so far, with tears of loss and pain mixed in with those of joy and success. It’s been that kind of year for almost everyone I know.

When you’re filled with self-doubt or a feeling of being “stuck” you really need to be your own best friend. Allow yourself some time to absorb the feeling and if you can, use it to fuel your desire to move forward. Surround yourself with people, places, and things that inspire you. It’s amazing how sometimes just one small thing can bring back your inner passion.

This past weekend I took some time for myself and went to see Nickelback in Irvine and San Diego. People seem to love them or hate them. As someone that’s followed their career since the 90’s when I could only hear them on Canadian Internet radio, I fall into the love camp – for a few reasons. Besides being a longtime fan of their music, my hat has always been off to them for ignoring their critics, following their passion and playing full-out doing what they love. It’s been a blast to watch them grow from their earliest days asunknown artists to the incredible multi-award, multi-platinum level success they’re enjoying today.

They always remind me to go after your passion in life with everything you have, to tune out all the negative chatter from others, to surround yourself with like-minded success driven people and dare to dream really big!

Me, Surrounded by success. 

Denise and Nickelback

When I first moved to San Diego in the eighties my family and “friends” told me I’d be back home to Michigan in year. I was told that it was too hard to make it on your own in a place like this, that it was too expensive, that I was too young, or that I wasn’t cut out for it. I always have to smile a little when I think back to those days because I’m always here

when that thought crosses my mind some twenty-five years later….;)

There are certain topics that are timeless. The one that has been on my mind for quite some time is one that feels most appropriate for my life right now – The mindset of gratitude.

One of the most important gifts we can give ourselves is the ability to be grateful for what we DO have, especially in the toughest of times. The ability to steer your attention to the positive things in your life doesn’t mean being a Pollyanna or living in a state of denial, it’s a learned skill that will change your brain chemistry, energy, and the way you interact with others.

“Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow.”
~ Melody Beattie ~

As I fall asleep tonight, my thoughts will be that:

• Although a dear friend was recently diagnosed with breast cancer, I am forever grateful that it was caught at the earliest stage.
• My mom in law lost her battle with leukemia in January yet I am thankful that I am healthy enough to participate in a marathon that will raise money for the Leukemia and Lymphoma society while allowing me to honor her life.
• I am surrounded by wonderful friends and family who are helping me meet the above goal and are who are the best people I could ever hope to have in my life during good times and bad.
• Our schedules at this time of the year make it much harder for all of us to sit at the table for dinner but it’s something we all work at and want to do. I am grateful for the love and laughter when we are together – especially the times that make me laugh so hard it brings tears.
• Even though my dog has been having seizures, the worst case scenarios have been ruled out and she’s on medication to control them.
• Interruptions keep me from finishing my book as quickly as I would like, but wouldn’t trade the fullness that those “interruptions” bring. They are the chapters of my life.

While it’s sometimes a struggle to carve out the time to post , I am grateful for each and every person that stops by – I hope that you can take what serves you best from it. I wish you a lifetime of happiness, gratitude and abundance.

No, I haven’t completely lost my mind. I know Valentines Day is over, that’s actually the point of this post.. The flowers are starting to fade and wither and the cards and gifts are already becoming a distant memory. So what are you doing to keep the Valentines Day mindset?

For one day of the year, as a nation, we focus on our loved ones. Everywhere you turn there is an abundance of hearts and flowers, candy, cards, and gifts of every kind. All attention is focused on the special person in your life. The next day we wake up and perhaps start to fall back into old habits. The “I love you’s” and sugar coated sentiments are behind us and “real life” comes back into motion. Why?

Our relationships like anything else in our lives are victims of habit, good and bad. Habits are much like an addiction – defined as something we can’t stop doing. All of the days, months and years we spend thinking and acting in a certain way eventually get programmed into our brain – literally. We create neural pathways that can lead to habitual negative views and reactions to our loved ones. Ever have the same old arguments with the same old results? You feel yourself falling into it, your head tells you to stop yet you can’t, you get sucked into the energy of the moment and go down that well traveled path to nowhere.

Is it possible to stop? Yes, most definitely. You will have to work at it though. Just like that well worn path, it took a long time to become that way and it will take focused effort to move it in a new direction. It may sound cheesy to some, but visualization – also known as “mental rehearsal” can work miracles. It’s a well documented tool used in training athletes for peak performance. That peak performance isn’t limited to sports or physical activity; it can be anything you want to achieve – including a better relationship.

Try visualizing the desired outcome to your age old argument. What is it that you would love to say (that’s positive) if you weren’t caught up in the moment of the argument? How would you like to see your partner respond? What would you say in turn? See it in your mind, and let yourself feel the emotion as if it were really happening.

Keep repeating this process every chance you get. You are literally changing the neural pathways of your brain. Practiced consistently, the next time you start to engage in that same old argument, you will have developed new patterns of thinking and a new response. Done faithfully, you will end up with your desired result.

Remember, you need to change the way you are feeling, thinking and responding. The goal is NOT to change your partner. The change will occur when you change YOUR pattern of thinking and reacting. It’s a great way to keep the Valentines Day mentality going all year long. Reprogram the bad habits with good ones, your relationship could depend on it.

I was so prepared to start 2009 on top of my game, my “stop making resolutions” musings were waiting for me to hit the post button, I was happy, rested and into the full swing of a new year.

On January 3rd, I received a call letting me know that my beloved mom-in-law passed away. I was originally going to say that she lost her three-year battle to leukemia but I think it’s far more accurate to say that she won her wish to live her life the way she intended to for as long as possible.

This vibrant and courageous woman who also happened to be a breast cancer survivor, was every bit a “mom” to me — not an “in law”.  I’ll miss her incredibly even though I realize so much from our relationship will always remain. From the beginning, she always treated me, and made me feel as though I were her daughter by birth. We had a bond that grew deeply over a period of seventeen and a half years.

The first time we ever met, I was afraid she was going to see my hands shaking or hear my knees knocking but in five minutes, I felt as though we’d known each other a lifetime. She was always gracious yet said exactly what was on her mind –one of the few people I’ve met who was completely comfortable in their own skin. Whether you agreed or disagreed with something she said, you loved her for who she was and she always loved you back.

Our last visit was much like our first, filled with laughter and happiness. She was at home and feeling well enough to join my husband, sister in law, father in law and myself for lunch at her favorite restaurant. She was in rare form and when our visit ended we hugged goodbye as we always did. That memory or a great conversation by phone is how I know she’d want us to remember her. We received the call three days after that visit.

The essence of what I share with you on this blog boils down to your mindset — which effects how you approach life, how you react to change and how you “reframe” your views. These things all determine how you view your life and all of its infinite possibilities. Only you are in your head and only you control those thoughts and views.

You could look at the situation and see it as unfair and be consumed with anger and sorrow over what was taken away or lost rather than the greatness of what was experienced during a lifetime. It might even be easier to fall into that thinking if you had lost as many people as I have in my lifetime. A different mindset allows you to see the beauty in each encounter with another human being. Whether the relationship ends due to death or some other separation, I believe each and every one of those encounters leaves us with the gift of a lesson.  It’s up to you to find each lesson. Perhaps it’s unconditional love, compassion, forgiveness, or perhaps acceptance.  It doesn’t mean that you won’t mourn the loss, simply that you’ll also be able to see the gain.

“What we have once enjoyed
we can never lose.

All that we love deeply becomes part of us”

Helen Keller

It’s that time again..Time to figure out what worked in 2008 and enhance it and figure out what didn’t — and change it.. That’s the mindset you have to adopt as you go into 2009. I know you’ve heard it before, but if you really want to see different results, you’re going to have to do different things. Sometimes, just the act of making one small change opens new doors and starts a whole new pattern of thinking.

I’m sure you’ve noticed some changes to this site. I’m in the process of updating it and working on a new layout and content that will hopefully provide you with the tools you need to start 2009 on a positive note. I know it’s been a tough year for many, but what you do right now will be critical to what happens next year. This holds true both personally and professionally.

I’ve decided to update this site over time rather than trying to get it perfect and unveil a brand new site overnight. Life usually doesn’t work that way. It’s a series of small consistent changes that most often leads you to something new and exciting. Start today. Go do that thing you’ve been putting off, who knows what exciting new things it will lead to..

Much has been written about success, achievement and mindset for adults, yet there seems to be a fairly small selection as it relates to children. I find this puzzling because childhood is such a critical time in the development of self esteem, which is more often than not, a determining factor in success.

This article illustrates the importance of mindset in children and a practical approach to help them. I’m a firm believer that regardless of our age, the more we understand how our brain works, the better we’ll function in every aspect of our lives. 

I started teaching my sons about the human mind and related it to everyday things they could understand, like the sports they participated in, games, and friends. They both enjoy the scientific approach and I’m just happy they’re open and aware.